The Pre-Vacation Syndrome
It seems that whenever I went on vacation I'd get a crush of problems and pressures in the last few days before I left. I never bothered to analyze how much of that came from new problems springing up and how much was from the build-up of postponed projects that I couldn’t stand to push off past my upcoming vacation.
Now with four working days to go, I pessimistically expect the same phenomenom. I have no illusions about clearing my backlog--that would take weeks of dedicated programming and troubleshooting. This time the problems are all external, and they started coming at me late this afternoon. With my motivation fallen off a cliff, I’m tempted to stall them until I’m gone, but my last shreds of professionalism are hanging on my need to please people, or at least demonstrate that I’m competent. The need to prove my competence was ingrained very young, and it’s caused me a lot of stress. On the other hand I can see how it’s helped me in school and work, so I can’t say it’s been all bad. Anyway, it will be a new experience knowing that these problems really are temporary, as far as I’m concerned, and won’t be waiting around for me after a vacation ends.
Now with four working days to go, I pessimistically expect the same phenomenom. I have no illusions about clearing my backlog--that would take weeks of dedicated programming and troubleshooting. This time the problems are all external, and they started coming at me late this afternoon. With my motivation fallen off a cliff, I’m tempted to stall them until I’m gone, but my last shreds of professionalism are hanging on my need to please people, or at least demonstrate that I’m competent. The need to prove my competence was ingrained very young, and it’s caused me a lot of stress. On the other hand I can see how it’s helped me in school and work, so I can’t say it’s been all bad. Anyway, it will be a new experience knowing that these problems really are temporary, as far as I’m concerned, and won’t be waiting around for me after a vacation ends.
posted by Houyhnhnm | 11:44 PM
3 Comments:
Perhaps it's not just the need to seem competent but the integrity that demands that you continue to work when you're being paid.
maybe it's not tyring to please others as much as it is living up to your own integrity. You're being paid, so you work.
It's two sides of the same coin. For me, maintaining integrity and protecting my image of competence are two related motivators that generally push in the same direction but not exactly.
Thanks for your comment!
Houyhnhnm
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